~mAtHoutS~ My guilty conscience bugs me day and night i somehow feel it was all because of me My selfishness to achieve more than i already had The burden it had cause to ppl whom i cared I've stepped far ahead, ignoring the things that was happening I was blinded by the darkness, from the bright light of the prize Too late to look back but continue to move on as i carry the sense of guilt I want to let it all go, i want to tell it off I pray this will all be worth it I pray it will all end with a good note I pray when this is all over I can look back and smile and will be glad i did so But right now, at this current moment Even the light on the prize starts to dim Blocked by the others whose aiming the same How can i get past, how can i succeed?
* a silent prayer
Dear god,
Im thankful for all that i've been blessed throughout my years i've lived. I try not to complain and if i do coz i am only human. I will always pray for a little bit of strength and a little bit of hope and faith to face each challenges that you gave me. I realise that you will not give a burden greater than what one can bear. But sometimes i feel i am not strong enough to face them without your help, without a touch of your guidance dear god. I come running to you now coz i am helpless and im at a state where i am clueless on how to move on. I know that my fate lies in your hands but i need to know the guilt i feel right now will it be worth it? I am not questioning but i just hope that the sacrifice that mum had to go through now will be the last she'll ever have to do for me. I want to repay her back every single thing that she'd done for me. I never ever want to see her suffer in silence or cry becoz of what she have to go through. I want her to be proud of me. I want her to know that i the purpose for me to this now is to crave a better future for me, her and our family. I dont want her to be too tired for though she might look strong i know she is holding on very hard to continue living. Her past 10 years bringing us up was hard enough, the past 10 years of sacrificing has taken a toll on her. Though i may not be the perfect daughter in her eyes, i want to try and i want to succeed for her sake, for dad's unfinished dreams and for sis broken dream. Dear god, the most gracious, the beneficient, the merciful the most generous, the one and only. I pray to you to bless me, my family and the road ahead that has been laid out for me. From you i become and to you i shall return.
:: aSpirAtiOns ::
1.coMplEte mY dEgrEe with a min of sec hons
2.fAll iN lOvE
3.mY drEaM jOb
4.wOrk iN duBai
5.LivE a fULfiLLinG LifE wiTh mY fAmiLy & fReNs
