Once again my stoopid comp is giving me problems and this is the 3rd time im trying to write this post completely. So i shall make it short and sweet before it shuts down on me again.

back to werk today after the long off days we had since saturday. i so miss slacking. the great thing this time, no nid to think of werk nor sch. enjoyed it so much. so sad it had to end so fast. lolz

And so for my raya, i enjoyed it minus the period cramps that i keep getting. Hate the time of the month. Other than that, this year's raya is somehow nice. i can't find the exact word to describe it but for now nice seems to suit it. Somehow, it's going back to how it used to be whr we wld look forward to the day. =)

Some pixs we took:


the family in blue


the four eldest


3 angels


at tok ngah hse

looking at the pixs, makes me smile and my heart warmth with love. Really proud of them and love them to bits. Think i've said this before but no harm saying it again rite - eventhough we might irritate and would love to kill each other at times but i'm glad to have this big crazy family of mine. =)
Only that dad is missing. Im do miss him alot. Sometimes i wonder what life would be like if he's still around. We would be travelling like we use to other than to m'sia and we would still have a car to travel around as a family in and for us (my siblings) to feel complete having both parents like others do.
But on the darker side, we still have to mix around with THEM and dad have to pay for all our doctors and op bills and he will still suffer in pain.
And i also couldnt help but wonder if he's proud of me, of what i've achieve, who i've become and what i am now. Mayb one day he will appear in my dream for me to hear his voice again and answer all this qns and give me one last big hug.
The early years when we lost him, there were times i suffered in silence. Ask me and mayb i'll answer. Memories that i hope to forget but at the same time would still want to remember. Even if i do try to forget, how could i? Scars dont heal completely do they? Mayb bcoz of it i became stronger and also the reason why i have this high walls built around me.

Hmmmm .. enuf of reminiscing and back to the present. And next sat, it's back to sch once again for the campus training thingy. im missing my gurls already. heez.

tOodlEs

oh and below are some pixs we took wen we (the interns) wore baju kurung to werk. hee





10/26/2006 05:24:00 PM

Tomorrow's the day. Im gonna be missing Ramadhan definately. To all muslims SELAMAT HARI RAYA. if i had offended anyone in any way from my behavior or my words, i would like to ask for forgiveness and say that im sorry.

Talking bout Hari Raya, i wonder if the lost spirit of it that i use to feel is still lost? Somehow i think it still is. Im not really looking forward to enjoying it as much as i think i use to years ago. Somehow, it's juz days of another month. If you would think i might be outta my mind, then i guez i am. People look forward to this day so enthusiastically but from the way i see it, it'S more of ppl looking forward to show of their new clothes, shoes, home or for the young, it's the sake of collecting money.
Mayb we're celebrating it for the wrong reason but mayb some of us are not. It's wen we celebrate out truimph of being able to withstand fasting for a month. It's also the month to ask for forgiveness from those we've hurt and to forgive those who have hurt us. It's the time to get together with family, relatives and friends to start anew.
Mayb from these simple reason, i guez the spirit of raya still exist. mayb even for me.

While ppl listen to Raya songs and get all emotional but for me, i've been watching hindustan movies and cry. haha. ironically eventhough i've watched the same stories countless of times, it never fails to make me cry!!! anyway, back to watching mohabattein. lolz

to those who juz started school today, enjoy urself. u'll be missing the boring lectures and tutorials and projects once u start doin ur SIP. trust me. well ... to an extend though. hehe.

toOdleS 10/23/2006 12:09:00 PM

I thought it's gonna be weird and uncomfortable. Even so, i had fun. It's surprising that not having a guy for urself is not that bad actually. Mayb bcoz rite now im not looking for one nor interested in any as yet. I will wait and still will for my fairytale story to start. Things will follow it's own course and im so not rushing it.
I wonder why do sometimes ppl are so desperate to find a guy but end up getting badly hurt. Sometimes if you juz watch a movie or read a book of a couple so perfect for each other and suddenly their relationship had to end (but usually they will be togetheragain), u tend to get hurt for them and cry for them as you feel feeling the pain of breaking up. Yes i do cry watching movies and even when reading books. So if the heartache is going to hurt so bad then im scard. Im afraid of having my heart shattered into pieces for a guy. They say that the guy that deserve ur tears wont make you cry but which relationship doesnt involve tears? You even fight with your parents, sisters and brothers what more to someone whom you only know for days or weeks or months or years compare to people you know your whole life.
Love and relationship is hard to define and to exactly know what is it like and how it should be. But i kno that for me, trust, respect, admiration and love will keep it going against any adversary.

Anyway, ever felt left out? Ever felt that you dont belong? Ever felt that mayb change is a bad thing after all. Im not saying im feeling all of this at this moment of time. But it suddenly juz hit me. I know who i am and im not going to change juz to be the in kid but i guez everyone have such feelings once in a while in new environments or even within familiar group of friends. One can't be able to adapt to everything at once. Everything takes time.
Typical isn't it. time is always the reason for everything. When you need to adapt or healing from any kind of pain, time is too slow. But when you're are having fun or need to get alot of things done, time passes too fast. Mayb some things in life are juz to be wondered about without any answers to be given. The miracle of life, its magic and mysteries. Sometimes it's best to be left as it is. To accept it, question it but not to expect answers.

Love, Pain, Joy, Time, Life, Death ....... it's always being view differently. You can never get the exact correct answers to any of it. Mayb it'S for the best i guez.

tOodlEs 10/19/2006 04:11:00 PM

My body totally gave up on me with no rhyme or reason or warning. On friday i was perfectly healthy and fit and i was looking forward to spent tomorrow with dee and zila at werk & also the long awaited magus luna. even wen i woke up for sahur i was alright but wen i woke up once again about 7.30am to get ready for work, i couldnt even raise my head and i was shivering eventhough i was sweating!! that wen i took my tempreture, it was like 38.5degrees!!! still, i force myself to work but by 12pm, my tempreture rose to 39.7degrees and i can feel my body deteriorating!! headed home by then and straight to bed. Once again i was shivering eventhough the fans were off and i was under my thick comforter. I hate being sick espacially being sick at the wrong time!! ArgH!!

Becoz of this, i wasnt able to attend Magus Luna2 to support my crews but at the end of the show i heard it went fantabulous rite!! Couldnt be more proud of them for pulling it off wonderfully! wished i was there to see. Still a big kudos to Shahirah, Aisha, Azm, Nadiah N, Radiah, Parvin & the last man standing Haikal. haha. And congrats to the dramatech peepz for Magus Luna2!!

Also, i be missing work today!! And today is bosses day!! Yes such day existed and we are celebrating. Well they still are without me. sIGh!

Anyway quick update on what have been happening before i fell sick:

Monday: went buka with sis and bump into my cuz Faz & Hidayah and ended up we buka together.

Tuesday: My colleagues plan to go Arnolds to eat but since most of them were too busy due to tommorow's event, we ordered in and had a great time laughing non-stop.

Wednesday: The Mawi event. It turned out alright but with few gliches here and there. but it was a learning experience in doing a bigger event than im used to.

Thurday: Went buka with Nat & Muni! Think we ate & laugh too much. Oh how i miss their craziness.

Friday: Finally was able to go back to school to see how things are goin. It was nice to see them again.

With so many things happening, i wasnt able to go back and buka at home.
Actually planning to blog bout something but rite now mymind is still in a daze and i cant even write in proper sentences without have to edit it more than 5 times. Mayb wen im feeling better and with some pixs that i intend to show also. tOodlEs. take care! 10/16/2006 05:57:00 AM

time check: 6.50pm

and im still at the office. waha

no im not OT-ing. well .. sort of since im still doing part of my werk but the main reason im here is that we're iftar-ing in the office. Our initial plan was to buka together at Arnolds' but since everyone is sooo busy for tomorrow's event, we decided to eat in. yupyup.

I can smell the chickennnnn ... 'stomach grumbling' ... haha

tOodles!! 10/10/2006 12:46:00 PM

Finally the day wen we gotta go back to sch for the campus session!! meeting them all again brings back memories! precious memories of sch life. having only 5 of us in the class, it was really great as we all get to say what we think of SIP so far and the challenges we face. The sharing session really shows us the different view point of werking in differnt places and industry, the different things we encounter and the funnie stuffs that happens. Cant wait for the next one to come which will be on the 4th Nov.
And paid my first instalment for the HTM D&D. We are going to go to Fullerton for it!! totally a plus point in my books. haha. For god's sake it's Fullerton and D&D is like once in ur whole of poly life or mayb ur whole life. hehe

Anyway, had the annual iftar with mum side of the family. This time was at Mak Long's house. It was alright i guez but halfway tru it, seems like all my close cuzzins were all gone. But to see all ur relatives once again and catch up with each other on their lives, where they are now and to see how fast everyone is growing was really nice. The eating together and the praying together somehow shows the bond of family.


part of the relatives.


from left: hidayah&faz (sisters) and asy(me)& azi(my sis)

Speaking of iftar, last Thursday had an iftar with my company at Kintamani Restaurant at Furama hotel. The buffet that was laid out was super delicious and to mingle and mix around with the current and ex staff of EV and even the bosses really show us the different side of all of em'. I think i ate too much, laugh too much and for once showed abit of the real me to some. We all stayed there for about nearly 4hrs! Thanks bosses for the treat and thanks to everyone there that made the iftar a memorable one.


people at my table


people at the 2nd table


EV girls


wonderful ppl


wonderfully crazy ppl


the travel dept: hana, su & me


Regarding werk, it have been busy lately. Having to organise a trip is so TTOpns all over again but abit more pressurising. Surprisingly, im enjoying myself. Im learning so many things all at once. Everything is slowly going well not that i was complaining earlier. waha

And im missing supernatural that have been filling up my boring thursday night! Cant wait to watch the Season 2! Im so agreeing with azm & julie that that Jensen Ackles who plays Dean is super hot!! haha .. look below and u'll agree too. haha


Jensen Ackles

Planning to go to the library tomorrow to return some overdue books and to give azm the CDRW but before that, intend to wake up as late as possible. haha ..

tOoDles 10/07/2006 06:36:00 PM

Too bored so decided to take a free test bout me ... haha .. see the results. surprisingly quite true!

The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
At heart you are modest and humble, and you rarely strive to be in the limelight or in a position of power. You have a sharp analytical mind, a keen eye for detail, and you prefer to observe, dissect, and study life from a distance. Conscientious and conservative, you can be relied upon to be careful, efficient, and thorough in your work and you take pride in doing a job well. What you may lack in self-confidence you often make up for in skill - developing expertise, technical knowledge, and competency in some specialized area. You are adept at using your hands to create or fix things, and meticulous attention to detail and careful craftsmanship are your forte. Some would say you are a little TOO meticulous, for you can be extremely critical and petty if everything is not done exactly as you think it should be, and you worry about things that other people consider trivial and unimportant. You like to organize, categorize, and arrange everything into a logical system, and you are often distinctly uncomfortable when something does not fit into a neat category. Disorganization vexes you. You probably wish that you were not such a perfectionist, for besides being a stickler for details, you can be mercilessly self-critical as well. Whether in your environment or in yourself, you tend to focus on the flaws, with a desire to improve, refine, and perfect. You are strictly factual, truthful, and scrupulously honest in your self-estimation, and you often do not give yourself enough praise or credit

Mental Interest and Ability
You are an exacting perfectionist with a clear, logical, analytical mind and an aptitude for work that requires meticulous attention to detail and efficient organization. Well-grounded and pragmatic, you tend to develop specialized skills and technical expertise in some practical field. Knowledge, ideas, and theories don't really interest you unless they are useful in a tangible way. You are inclined to analyze, measure, and dissect everything and to miss nuances, subtle shades of feeling and meaning. Your strengths are in your precise thinking, careful craftsmanship, and mastery of technical skills. You tend to be very good at what you do and critical of others' work if it does not meet your high standards.

Weirdly true huh. alrighty .. work tml!! toOdLEs 10/01/2006 05:53:00 PM