I thought it's gonna be weird and uncomfortable. Even so, i had fun. It's surprising that not having a guy for urself is not that bad actually. Mayb bcoz rite now im not looking for one nor interested in any as yet. I will wait and still will for my fairytale story to start. Things will follow it's own course and im so not rushing it.
I wonder why do sometimes ppl are so desperate to find a guy but end up getting badly hurt. Sometimes if you juz watch a movie or read a book of a couple so perfect for each other and suddenly their relationship had to end (but usually they will be togetheragain), u tend to get hurt for them and cry for them as you feel feeling the pain of breaking up. Yes i do cry watching movies and even when reading books. So if the heartache is going to hurt so bad then im scard. Im afraid of having my heart shattered into pieces for a guy. They say that the guy that deserve ur tears wont make you cry but which relationship doesnt involve tears? You even fight with your parents, sisters and brothers what more to someone whom you only know for days or weeks or months or years compare to people you know your whole life.
Love and relationship is hard to define and to exactly know what is it like and how it should be. But i kno that for me, trust, respect, admiration and love will keep it going against any adversary.

Anyway, ever felt left out? Ever felt that you dont belong? Ever felt that mayb change is a bad thing after all. Im not saying im feeling all of this at this moment of time. But it suddenly juz hit me. I know who i am and im not going to change juz to be the in kid but i guez everyone have such feelings once in a while in new environments or even within familiar group of friends. One can't be able to adapt to everything at once. Everything takes time.
Typical isn't it. time is always the reason for everything. When you need to adapt or healing from any kind of pain, time is too slow. But when you're are having fun or need to get alot of things done, time passes too fast. Mayb some things in life are juz to be wondered about without any answers to be given. The miracle of life, its magic and mysteries. Sometimes it's best to be left as it is. To accept it, question it but not to expect answers.

Love, Pain, Joy, Time, Life, Death ....... it's always being view differently. You can never get the exact correct answers to any of it. Mayb it'S for the best i guez.

tOodlEs 10/19/2006 04:11:00 PM