A nightmare i went tru b4 wen someone hates me for nting and goes spreading round rumors is over. At the end of that episode, no one really actually believes her anyway.
but now, history is repeating itself. im so down and out and i guez no one's noticing. no one will understand what im talking about. half of me feels like giving up and juz prays that hopefully this sem zooms by so i can concentrate on my SIP and wish that everything was dream. but the other part of me still lives. for without them, i would never have the strength to move on.

If there's a problem, talk to me. if u never talk to me how would i kno what is happening. talk all you want behind me but if u keep on putting me in the dark, i will never kno and nthing gd comes out of it.

im juz so tired thinking of all this stuff. im having my own stressful problems of my own already. with school (SIP placements) and family, i juz dont kno how i can stand any of this any longer. i cant stand feeling bad and guity for nthing. someone juz talk to me.

ask u guys one thing (to whoever who knows me). am i a bad leader? am i not cut out to lead? am i too weak or juz plain unqualified to learn to lead?

whatever lah.. mayb im just such a worrier. i cant help it but worry about things that is not under my control. i kno what i did and why i did it. period.

but im still down and out. need not cheer me up unless ur sincere to do so.

seems that everyone i asked have gotten placements and been going for lots of interviews. Everyone phones been ringing to confirm the interview dates except mine. Mum asked me to be patient and that the best might yet to come. i hope she's right. she's always been.

god, give me stregth to move forward, to face each day with courage and determination. with ur guidance, show me the way that help me through this path called life. and that you will be with me every step of the way. i need you in my life.

5/17/2006 05:30:00 PM