Yesterday was the first time i feel of not having MY way. Yesterday was the first time i felt how hard sacrifising is. Yesterday was the first time how i really really hate my youngest bro and sis.

Ok .. not realli the first time but it's the first time all this happens at the same time and it blew me off real hard. Actually got to kno frm Kevin that the Global Citizenship CDS is still open and i was so happy coz i realli wanna join that but when i called my mum, she told me she got not enuf to support it.
She used to say juz join whatever you think is beneficial for u now and ur future. And yesterday, she took back her words. Not that im angry at her but actually at my youngest bro and sis for using all the money we have now. But they cant see how fortunate they are. Sometimes just feel like slapping them to make them wake up. Mum is now using most of the money to pay for their extensive tuition that cost hundreds of dollars per month. ArgHhhHh .. hate them hate them hate them!!! Just bcoz of they are younger, i have to sacrifise? My bro have 4 days a week of tuition that cost hundreds of dollars plus he now join a badminton class 1 day per week which cost nearly another hundred and there' s my younger sis which too have the same thing minus the badminton. Wen i was young i never have such help. I never went to such great tuition centre. The only place i went was Mendaki. Mum says coz they dont have a father figure and that we are all too busy and that she's afraid they cannot make it she's doing all this. If you just calculate how much money they use, it left me with n'tin.
Now, im have to work my butt off to support myself. Nowadays with hectic schoolwork, i cant affort to work. And i cant tell my mum. Now, not even the end of the month, my wallet is dry. When i asked my mum for $20 for the next week of lunch, she asked me so much questions. I cant tell her that my pay now is really low coz i've not been working. I cant tell her that my back a/c only left with $30. I cant tell her sometimes i have to starve juz to have enuf. I cant tell her anyting that much now juz to lighten her burden.

Cant i kill my youngest bro and sis to do that? ......... im so getting crazy!!!

Since yesterday whever i think of my situation i so feel like crying. I cant cry. I wont cry. It juz no use. People den will say im too emotional and to count myself lucky. Lucky .. me? try stepping into my shoes and see how lucky is it to be me.

To those with lesser siblings than me be grateful! for having younger siblings sucks big time espacially with quite a huge age gap. 7/30/2005 09:01:00 AM

Woah .. been so long since i last updated. Too busy with school .. wat else. haiz .. now i think i forgot some of the stuff i did for the past 9 days. Mayb i juz brief tru wat i remembered before going back to my project. Haiz .. i reali need a life! someone .. ask me out!! but den im broke and i've got my project compilation and editing to do for my group so ... in the end i will refuse if u do ask. haha ..

(1) AGM: a great event. Great job to my wonderful nadians whu were involved. 'clApz Claps cLapZ' .. love every part of the show except i think it was a bit too long. Oh and a lot of Nadi freshies came. YaY! very the good .. wahaha

(2) National day preview: rushed to the Padang with my elder and younger sis and my youngest bro straight away after AGM. It's my 3rd time being there to celebrate National day unlike the norm of watching it on tv and falling asleep. I love the vibe of enthusiasm from all the ppl there. It's as though it was really THE day. After that, we went to eat at Glutton Square near the esplanade and wen we're full, we sat down to catch the free live show nearby. It was nice. Been a long time since i went out with my siblings. How long ago did the 6 of us went out together? hmmm .. muz reali do it soon.

(3) Excution: Had my culinary science excution last tuesday. I and Hui Ying were to be in charge of the fish but my main rold was to fry the potato rusti. And since i never do it before, it was realli a dissapointment. Haha .. but Hui Ying said it shouldn't be happening coz went she tried it at home, it works. Mayb we're juz unlucky. Haha .. but soon, i got the hang of it but still it was not perfect. But overall, the people in soup, salad, main course and dessert did a good job. Not forgetting the stewarding area. Without them, there's no one to wash, clean and sanitise our dishes and pots and pans. Was realli a challenge to work together with the HTB students but that day we, for the first time mingle around with them and found out some of them arent that bad. =)

(4) Deployment: Eventhough it havent started yet, i cant wait for it. Cant wait to get out of RITZ. Cant wait to not feel so stupid and being scolded by the chefs for no reason. Cant wait to get out of TA on tuesday and see how dissapointing the crowd is.
Guez where im going? ..... THE SENTOSA GOLF CLUB!!! YaY!!!

(5) HaPpy bDae MuM!! .. Celebrated my mum's bdae on thursday. Wasnt realli that grand which makes me fell im such a bad daughter. I bought her a cake and yah .. dats about it. A dissapointment rite. I kno. I'll make it up to her someday. Promise ... love u mum!!

(6) International Cultural Night: Rushed from school at sentosa and finding time to change out of our blazers and all and took a taxi for the sake of reaching there on time. Haha ..This was the first time i survived without eating from the time i wake up till about 8.30pm!!! And wat did i get? i terrible headache!!!
Overall, the show was spectacular! Eventhough i dont realli understand the dances and the singing, but i could somehow embrace it. The beauty of it, the fun of it. Was realli wonderful. They should have more shows. 10 wasnt enuf! hehe
Went there with su whu bought her guy but then met aishah and zah. After the show meet the 2 cutest adorable lil gurls - Sappy and Nad. Then, me and su and her guy went to meet nad and her guy and her parents. =[ .... ok juz why am i not smiling? not that i wasnt having fun. i was .. it's as though i've known them for so long! but .. try imaging me alone and there's 3 loving couple around me. Juz think how does dat make me look and feel. Oh well .. wont talk bout it ...

Alrighty .. think i better go back to do my project. Need to compile all my group members work into one full proposal. So much to do so lil time. To bossman: dont rush me ok. i kno what im doing. i kno when's the date due. it's stressfull enuf without u reminding me all the time. 'so till next entry .. Toodles!

HapPy BirThdaY ChUng sHiN aka cYntHiA!!! miz u!! love u!!! 7/30/2005 04:57:00 AM

Everthing seems to be moving faster everyday. Seems like school juz started and now it's left with 5 more weeks to go. Oh nO!! and the deadlines for projects are getting nearer and nearer and somehow im gettin' tired and tired-rer. haha

Anyway, me and my frens were thinking of having lunch today at RITs coz Joey been craving to eat the seafood baked rice that is on the menu for this week. But wen we went there, the place was full. There was only two place left to sit. So we decided to make reservations for tml so that we will have a place for tomorrow. BUT ... actually this is part of wat i realli wanna say. haha .. U guyz kno dat i have my culinary science aka cooking on Tuesday rite. With us, is another two big classes of HTB students. And for this week, my group was assigned to do service kitchen whereby i was put in charge to prepare Seafood Baked Rice. Gotta tell ya ... it damn nice!!! YuMmY .. so sad dat RITS is not in TP or if not u guyz can try my cooking! haha
OK, back to my story. Everyday at RITS it will always be full house except on tuesday. And last tues (19/7/05) guez how many customers we hav ......................... 2!!!! yes .. onli 2!!!! for the 1hr since business open, there was onli 2 customers. Den the other lecturers who wanted to hav lunch saw that it was so empty and being so nice and wanting to support us, they came down and eat there. A total, we have onli 7 patrons to our restaurant dat dae. It's reali a day to be marked in the history of singapore saying that the day asy cook ... but ... no one come. 'sOb Sob sOB' Guez y ... not that i cook bad .. honest! but truth to be told .. it was bcoz of the HTB ppl. Go figure.
And so, this is the life in RITZ on tues - empty and isolated.

Oh well ... den next week is finally the excution time. We gotta cook the menu that we planned. But im still blur bout it. Haha .. mayb i juz go with the flow. Worst come to worst i juz do the stewarding area. haiz ... and after next week .. bye bye RITZ .. im off for my deployment!!!!! YAY!!! cant wait to get outta the kitchen to werk in sentosa. Hopefully i either get Spa resort or Rasa Sentosa as my deployment place. 'croSs fIngeRs'

Think i juz end here first. Seems like my entries are always soooo long. hahaha .. shd learnt not to write flowery long sentences. Alrighty den ... toodles!!!

oH and .... 'HaPPy 19th BirThdAy AlthEa!!!!' ..... in 57mins time ... hehe 7/21/2005 05:03:00 PM

7/17/2005 06:13:00 PM

I promise to update on the Sriwana concert about 4 days ago rite. haha .. but suddenly became so busy that i do not hav the time to even update on anything. The most i can remember now is that the dances was reali nice and the drama was also very interesting. Except wen there was this part of drama 2 about Puteri Gunung Ledang where i think i drifted off somewhere far. i didnt sleep .. onli that my mind wondered somewhere away from where i am. haha .. too much on my mind i guez.

Anyway, this is the first time since my O levels i woke up reali early on a weekend to do my schoolwork. Suppose to be working now but wen i woke up today, my voice was realli sore and im also down with a flu. What does this indicates? i need rest!! been deprived of it for so long. Juggling school ( studies & cca ) and working at the same time is taking a toll on me. Can i have another week break? but this time with nothing to do. Just laze around and eat and sleep and watch tv and read and practically do anything i want not relating to school or work. can i? please?

With one big roll of tissues at my side, i will and have to finish off my research findings, mindmap and applied research intro and also my case study!! oh no .. im gonna be stuck in front of my comp for the next few hours feeling sick and restless and sick!!!

Oh and juz remembered. Yest at work while i was preparing to go home, one of my colleague ask me. " Asy, ur the traditional, old fashion kind of muslim ar." When i asked her why she said that, she replied " because ur wearing the tudong mah [oh no, the tudong issue again!] and also everytime u want to go back, u will pull down the sleeve to make it long, covering ur arm instead of leaving it rolled up."

Then she continued. "Look at fida, you should be like her. A modern malay girl. She can wear t-shirts and follows her own timing on when she's ready to wear tudong."

It den strucked me. Does by wearing tudong and always going out in long sleeve, you will be preceived as traditional and old fashion? Does by following god orders to do what is to be done being perceived as traditional and old fashion? And if you dont wear tudong because you think ur not ready and when you wear t-shirts or mayb even sleeveless, u are considered modern? Isnt that a shallow kind of thinking? Isnt that so immature?

And in another case, another one of my colleagues (chinese malaysian[CM]) says to another (s'porean) .

[cm]:" I think my malay is much more better than my english."
[s'porean]: "den you go became a malay lah."
[cm]: " haha .. mayb i should."
[s'porean]: " but then, you have to become a muslim to become a malay."

In this case too, i was stunned. You need not become a muslim to become a malay. Muslim is a religion. Malay is a race. Is so totally different. but who can blame them? I now realise society is really clueless. You can be a malay but that doesnt mean ur a muslim. Look around you. SO many lies. So many contradiction. So who should society believe? They only think what they see and from there make their own judgement. They think that if ur a malay ur atomatically become a muslim. We muslims says we have to wear tudong. We have to wear covered clothes and we cannot do this and that. But look around. How many people u see are doing what is preached? How many 'muslims' are not wearing tudong and some even wears mini skirts and tube tops and some are seen drinking beer and eat from non halal stalls? Can they be classified under being a muslim? Even though they break rules and rules of Allah?

Is it fair to us to be judged because of this? to be question juz because a handful of them are disobeying? Is it fair to juz assume all malays are muslims and that since they can do what shouldnt be done and that we can follow and be classifies under being modern? Think about it. You tell me.

Im sori to those who are offended by this is a thought that i feel i should say it out loud.

Oh well, gotta go back to work. Till den. Toodles. 7/17/2005 02:50:00 AM

In the morning, took the opportunity to wake up late coz in my mind to start with my project research at 1pm before meeting zah and shah later at 6.30 for the sriwana concert. Anyway, juz while i was checking my mail, my sis suddenly approached me and asked if i wanna watch batman begins. wahahaha .. the movie came out sooo long and only now do i have the chance to watch it. At first was thinking not to coz if not i will not have any time to complete my project research but then ... what the heck. I need a life you know. And for goodness sake this is the term break week and what does it suggest? To have a break! but what am i doing? .... school work! this is so wrong!!!
Continuing on, my sis says the show starts at 1.20pm and guez wat tiem it was? 12pm!!! i so have to be ready in 45mins time which surprisingly i did!

Before the movie starts, me and my sis took some neoprint pixs for fun. If you wanna see em' my sis upload it on her blog. Go take a look!!! Overall the movie was G-R-E-A-T!!!! i cant believe that it took me this long to watch a fantastic movie!! but why do some people hate it? hmmm ... oh well .. people can have their own opinion and wat to think of it. But to me it was super fantabulous!!! I think i cried .. oOpS .. haha .. hey, there are some parts which are realli touching or mayb im juz emotional. LoLz ... so now u guyz wont see me complaining of not being able to watch movie .......................... ok end! hahaha .. im so gonna start complaining again. There's fantastic four which is on my next list which i dont think i will be able to get to watch. Haiz3

I think im starting to crap arent i? Mayb it's getting to me. Im talking about researching and project and all. It's nearly 3.30am in the morning and here i am still wide awake for i juz finish researching for my part. And guez wat time i need to wake up? 8am!!!

I nearly forgot to talk about the Sriwana concert. Or mayb i shd do it tml ... i meant tonight .. haha .. i think i shd. I dead beat! Stay tune den .. hahaha .. Toodles

'mA tHouGhts'

No matter how much tears i cry
No matter how hard i try
No matter how fast time passes me by
I am still me

No matter how many people i know
No matter how hard the wind blow
No matter how i try to change the past
I can never change the fact that
I will always be me 7/12/2005 09:10:00 PM

Today marks the day the term break starts ... ya right! hahaha ... had to wake up early in the morning juz to be in sch for a project meeting. Haiz .. Acually today had to meet the Nadi peepz for an outing. They're watching a movie!!! and i realli wanna go!! see .. wen im far away at the south of s'pore, they are far away in the east at TP and wen im at TP, they're far away in the south ... been so long since i last hang out with them and been so long since my last movie. i really need a life!

Was expecting my project meeting to end about two but it was dragged till about 4pm and by the time it ended, i was drained. Physically - coz i had not eaten since 10am and Mentally - for thinking too much. So i couldnt find the strength to go all the way to PS this way and futhurmore it started to rain. I ended up slacking with Nad and Su all the way till 7+pm before heading home.

Dont know why but i suddenly decided to walk home. Need to think but ended up eating ice cream potong all the way home. HahA .. i guez i was splurging on something sweet to treat myself for a long day and to console myself for missing an outing with the Nadians. But $1 doesnt count as splurging rite .. LoL. But it's to me .. haha .. need to be more thrifty starting now ... sigh3. Oh well ... it's good rite. ermmmm ... hahahaha... think i gonna watch Ice Princess b4 i head off to bed. Till den .. Toodles

'mA thOughTs'

This empty feeling deep inside
Dont know wen it came and why

In need of guidance
In need of direction
Showing the pathway of where i need to go
To find the questions i have in mind

How do people stay happy
How do people stay alive
How do people keep on smiling
When they're hurting deep inside

I should know the answers by now
I should know in a blink of an eye

Maybe i do
Maybe i dont
Or maybe it's there
But it's hiding somewhere 7/11/2005 04:57:00 PM

Today was THE day. Finally had my accounts exams early in the morning. It was sooo hard. Not that i did not study but the problems lies with the paper!! I juz had theories .. in accounts some more. More than half of the marks for the paper is on theory. Oh man.. hopefully i can do well. Was planning on scoring for it but .... oh well. It's over anyway.

Then after that, straight away had our CRS project meeting. Haha .. ended 10mins to 1pm and Hui Ying and Peiling was already waiting for us as their grp meeting ended earlier. And so together, the 7 of us, had a mini outing. We first headed off to TM and straight away to fish & co. =) all of us was sooo starving. We ordered 2 set meals + seafood platter for 2 + calamarie + prawn something .. haha .. imagine all that on the itsy bitsy tiny table of ours with the huge pans and the full amount of food, we practically gobbled everything up! but implementing our dining etiquette of coz. LoLz .. Couldnt believe that we could finish all of it! haha .. but the best was of coz my mussles .. YumMy! We stayed there for nearly 2hr+ coz other than eating, we started talking crap and all non sensical stuff. WahahHa .. By the time we went out of the restaurant was nearly 4pm.
After that, they were planning to go archade to play daytona and table hockey. but me and audrey, we had to rush to POSB for awhile b4 they close to apply for our debit card. Yup3. But in the end audrey couldnt do so coz she forgot to bring her IC.

Then, Nad had to leave coz later she's meeting her guy to watch Fantastic 4!!! I wanna watch that too!! anyone wanna watch oso? gimmi a call! haha. ok back to where i left off, so me and audrey, we went back to meet joey, hui ying, su and peiling at the archade and we manage to play the table hockey. So fun!! we were shouting like no body business but sadly i and su loss by 2 pucks against audrey and hui ying. sob2 ...

Next, audrey needed to pay her hp bill so the rest of us waiting at Times bookshop for her but we all ended there for quite sometime reading magazines. hehe. After sooo long of waiting for each other, we went to take neoprints!!! but the fustrating thing is that .... i'll start from the beginning first. Arriving to the neoprint shop, i met nuraini, khairiyah and annisa - my sec sch frens! It been ages since i last saw them .. sigh2 .. miz them so much and they really changed alot! For our neoprint, we went to the booth whereby we have to take 21 pictures and then choose 6. After the tiring but fun picture taking, this is wen our fustration boils up. Wen we tried getting out, we were blocked by this huge no. of ITE students who seems to be delibrately blocking our way. And wen we finally managed to squeeze out, and wanting to choose 6 of our best pix, guez wat .. it's already been choosen!!! and most of them was our worst takes!!! OMG!!! can u believe it? Someone had actually anyhow pick the pictures for us! And guez who we suspected ... yup3. Irritating rite ... our blood was rising so high than we all was about to burst! dammit!!! Hopefully whoever did dat, will get they retribution ... 'smiles evil-ly'
After that, we were all so exhausted and tired so we did a bit of window shopping before heading home. Enjoyed my day today. Had fun! we should all do it again someday. =)

And juz ended watching coach carter on dvd via my comp. haha .. i've been wanting to watch it for so long and finally ... the day comes. No wonder ppl says it's reali nice. Asy asy .. wat took u so long to watch it! And in the midst of it, victor suddenly msn me and i was so caught up in the movie that i nearly forgot who is he. LoLz .. shhhh .. dont tell him dat. But i did forgot kiki. haha .. sori kiki .. i donno why suddenly i become so blur. I was like " erm .. hihi. sry but i cant seems to remember ur e-mail." ... something like dat! haha .. one second before he replied then it struck me .. but it's too late to take back my words rite. LoLz .. so ppl the moral of the story is that wen im in the midst of watching any movies .. DO NOT DISTURB!! haha .. i can forget u coz i get too caught up in the movie. Hahahaha ...

Alrighty den .. it's nearly 3am and i need sleep!!! So ppl ... Toodles!!

'mA tHoughTs'

do i always need to smile
to show im alright

do i need to laugh
to show that im fine

do i need to cry
to show im depressed

do i need to scold
to show that im mad

can i be depressed
but laughing out loud

can i be sad or mad
but keep on smiling

can i be alright
and not show it out

or it is wrong to show
what is it not ur feeling 7/07/2005 05:40:00 PM

i seriously need help.
Anyone there?




Guez not ... sigh
Once again i need to buy more bottle to keep my feeling in. and now im out of cash from buying too much of it. The problem is that after bottling all of it up, i will close it really really tight till me myself cant open it up and let it go. im juz afraid that if i hav too much of it i dont hav anywhere else to store them and wat if all of em' suddenly breaks? Den how? Im not sure if i can handle it all at the same time .. help me? someone .. anyone. Where is my prince charming when i really need him the most. Pls pls come to my life ... haiz. Or mayb there wasnt meant to be one.
If i can keep all the bottle for the past 19 years so MAYBE i can do it again for the next 19 years and then for the next 19 years. People wont be bothered to care of my problems rite. Even wen i do hav the urge to tell but from their body language i kno im talking too much. So now u kno why i dont talk that much. No point talking wen no one wants to listen. SO the best i can do is provide a listening ear to the one who needs em'. Coz i kno the feeling of not having one.

'mA thOughtS'

They always appear in story books
A night in shining armour
The hero
The one

But do they really exist
Are they really here
In the cold world of reality

I doubt so
I seriously doubt so
Because books are just fantasies
Giving you hope that they exist
That someone is there
Out there
Thinking and hoping for you too 7/06/2005 04:21:00 PM

Juz did my CRS test and i did badly .. wahahaha.. oh well. nO use complaining. It's only 5%. Will do better for the next test. ' fingers cross' ..

Anyway, juz now my manager told me sometin' and i was quite pissed off about it actually. You kno that delifrance is slowly setting up a bistro type of look and the area that im working at is going to go under renovation for it in September. Here i am looking forward in working there .... but they dont accept those ppl who are wearing tudong!!! ArgHHhh .. wats this man? This is wat i call discrimination. Even my colleagues are so pissed off bout it. haha ... SO wat if im wering tudong. It doesnt affect my work attitude or anytin rite. Is just what im wearing. Unless they're selling sometin' un-halal there. Whatever ... if they dont accept ppl like me then .. it's better if i dont stay. I can go find another undiscriminating job. Very irritating rite. And one of my fren say can i not wear tudong for work? i was like .. NO! i can easily find a job which doesnt care of what im wearing. If i can perform well on wat i do so wats the problem? This the second time i encounter such discrimination in S'pore - a multi cultural, multi religion country. Ya right!
The first one wen i went for interview to apply for the Changi Youth ambassador. I kno i did well. I juz knew it. But wen suddenly they ask if i can work without the tudong, i know that i can never get it. And as expected, i never did. Im not at loss here .. n0 worries. It's them whose at the loss .. for not hiring someone like me! LoLz ...

Back to the reason i was pissed off. My manager say he actually wanted me to work in bistro but due to stupid discriminating upper level ppl ..stupid management. But he sae he may want to sneak me in doing kitchen. But no thxs. Want me to cook and clean everytime? i will gladly giv that up. My main reason to work is to face customers. That wat i love. Serving them even wen they're a pain in the butt. The sense of sastifaction u'll get is wonderful. And my future career also involves meeting lots of people. Both the great ones and more of the difficult ones.
Events management or even if i want ot be involve in the hotel line, im goin to face ppl. SO by working now in the service industry do open my eyes to the different types of ppl. Oh well, if they dont want me den it's best if i go find a new job to find new experience and meet new ppl. I dont wanna be transfered to a another outlet doin the same job im doin for the past 5 months.

For now, i juz stay where i am till september and den juz wait nad see wat will happen next .. =)

I think that there's something wrong with my tag box. Cant seems to tag anyting. Think i muz change it. So yup2 .. i will. haha ..
Now it's nearly 3.45am and im wide awake. Need to finish up my research b4 i sleep. Tomorrow gonna meet di and nad to study accounts. Yup2. Hopefully i can wake up. haha .. i try though. Toodles .. 7/05/2005 09:14:00 PM

OuCh!!! My knees hurts sooo badly. Even now, the wound hav not dry up yet. Imagin how painful is it to bath ... Actually. it happened while ii was on my way to work. U kno the first TP bus stop from where it turns from Spirongfield Sec, i alighted 69 from there, went up the overhead bridge and when i was a few more steps to reach the bus stop, the bus came. so quickly but carefully, i went down the stairs really fast but wen i was on the 3rd last stairs, im not sure whether i slipped on something on juz am careless, i fell down hard as my knees scraped the rough floor. I wasnt in pain wen i stood back up but wen i was in the bus, my knees started to hurt really really bad and wen i want to take a look at it, my pannts where the spot on my knees was torn and my knees was bleeding! But what can i do in the crampy seat without medical aid. Just hav to bear it all the wae to Parkway. Even now, i hav trouble a bit in bending my leg for it's torn really bad. Really looks gross .. heez ..

Anyway, had to do OT again. Seems like now whenever i go to work, always hav to do that. Seems that we really have lack of staff and those who always juz join will soon leave. Their reason: they cant stand the working life .. WHAT??? Come on lah ... To me, where i work shows only part of what i'll be soon facing which gonna be soooo much worst than this. I kno that customers sometimes .. let me correct that .. most of the time sucks but hey, it's ur job. If u cant smile for them even in ur most bad-est mood then dont join the service industry. Go sit behind a desk and type reports all day long. HaiZ ...

Ok .. rite now n'tin else is in my mind to be written down. Starting tomorrow, the term test week have begun ... so to everyone, i wish u guyz luck in every single one of ur paper. Work hard for this week and den can enjoy for the next. =) Wish me luck u too u guyz aite... Oh and i think im goin back to writing 'mA thOughTs' like wat i did for the first few entries. Note, this are what im thinking which i do not really wanna spell it out. If u can figure wat im saying bhind the words den u do kno me ... a bit though. HahA ... Toodles!!!

mA thOughtS

Staring into the empty void
Listening hard to my endless thoughts
Trying so hard to make sense of what
Had been, has been and will soon be

Those questions keep running in my mind
Wondering where, what and why
How did i survive this past few years
How did i manage to keep those tears

Couldnt find the perfect solution
For it was never meant to be found
To live each day with hope and faith
I'll try my best .. i solemnly pray 7/03/2005 02:58:00 PM