Been sacrifising alot of things that i belief in. Being myself for one and my duty to god. Hate the feeling. Damn it! Why must it be so difficult. Even know i know what really is the most important but it's so hard doing the right thing. Maybe it's juz me. Maybe it's the environment im in. Maybe this is sort of a challenge for me to think, analyse and pick what i think benefit me not only now but in future. But, everything that im doing now seems important ... or is it? So how? How do i differentiate my pirioties & do whats right without sacrificing a lot more?

Then there's the problem of people not respecting my presence. Hate it when ur the only malay girl in ur group. Mostly when in the middle of group discussion, when one starts speaking manderine, the rest will follow suit and me ... will be left wondering and figuring out what they are talking. Sheesh ... Try imagine urself alone in a group of ppl speaking a language u dont and then u know how i feel. Like a complete idiot! Especially when they start laughing and then i'll be the only one there feeling stupid! When they try translating what the joke was, it won't be funny anymore. Ridiculous! Not that i've recently went through but it's something i really gotta point out. It's juz so damn irritating. I think im not the only person who experience such thing ... so ppl, when ur with ppl of different races and speaking a different language, please please please speak ENGLISH!!!!

My role as a group leader is so useless. I sometimes feel stupid. Well most of the time. I hate giving orders. Who knows some ppl may hate it and not voice-ing. Since im a virgo, and born on Sept 14 and those born on this day tend to follow rather than lead. I know ... stupid analysis ... stupid reason .... That's why i try to take up this role to see where my potential lies but it seems im doing a bad job of it. =(
My studies are also in the verge of killing me. Everything is so hard! There's business statistics which is like advance math .... and i hate maths. There's also principle of management and macroecons! I really need to buck up this semester. But still, i need a job. Hopefully i can cope. As much as i dont want to work, i have to due to some circumstances. So ppl who are working at Starbucks or Coffeebean or GV or somewhere in S'pore ... please if the outlet ur werking at have a 'lobang' do tell me. Preferably at the East or around the town area. Thxs!

And on last Saturday, i didn't get to go to Sentosa with some of my mentor friends. The reason, i overslept! They were meeting at 12pm at Harbourfront MRT stn and i just woke up at 11.30am. Although Linda called and say they could wait for me but it didn't feel nice for them to do so. I'll be eating their time of having fun earlier. And so, there i was watching my cartoon, Pokemon - my bro taped it for me, my sec sch fren, Nat, called and say she had brought the extended versin of LOTR3 ... was really excited as i then planned to go to her house to watched it. BUT ..... then my bro said he wanted to watch Ocean's 12!!! And .... he said if i follow him watch it, he'll pay for the tickets and half of the price of the popcorn. Who can resist right. SO i called Nat saying i have to cancel our in door movie and asked her along to watch the movie.
One word to describe to movie, FANTABULOUS!!! hahaha ... go watch it yourself and you'll agree. Even if u didn't watch Ocean's 11 or forgot wat's it about, you'll still understand the movie. Yup Yup ... so, go catch it! Next movies on my list to watch - National Treasure, Shall we dance & Seed of Chuck! Heez ... but since right now im really terribly short of cash, i dont think im able to watch any of it. So any of ya willing to 'blanja' me? Hahaha .... Toodles

Oh and for new year's eve, i thought of going down to esplanade to celebrate it and watch the fireworks there at the stoke of midnight. Anyone care to join me? Gimmi a call or sms k ... hehe
12/20/2004 01:39:00 PM