You do not know what it feel like to have your heart beats so fast and it felt as though it's going to pop out anytime. Then your whole body starts shaking due to the too strong heartbeat and u try so hard to gasp for air without attracting too much attention to urself. As you walk one step at a time, your heart just starts pumping harder and your eyes starts to blur and your mind starts screaming stop and you really feel like stopping and just lie down at where u are ... with all the crowd around. But you push yourself forward just to reach home ASAP. When suddenly you can't take it anymore and you just have to sit down to breath. You starts to analyse what is the best way to get home fast. The bus interchange is far too long a distance to walk and the taxi fare will cost u much. How u wish you could call someone to pick you up or juz drive urself back home.
When this situation happens, you will den forgot some things you need to buy or been ask to buy. Then, you are blamed and pointed fingers at, making you feeling all guilt inside ... without the person knowing what you've been through. Unless ........ u drop dead or faint at the stop where it happens. 'SigH' ....

Dont even know why such entry but it's just something i've been feeling sometimes. To those who do understand, thxs ... and those who doesn't and try to, thxs but nope ... u can never will till u experience it for urself. Peace ... Toodles
10/10/2004 02:57:00 PM